Humility is the New Smart
(Day 6) Rethinking Human Excellence in the Smart Machine Age
Day 6 – Emotions Matter More Than Ever
We’re almost there!
Yesterday we talked about collaboration and how working well with others makes you stand out. Today, let’s explore something that makes collaboration possible: emotional intelligence.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is your ability to understand and manage emotions—both your own and other people’s. It’s about being aware of how you feel, knowing why you feel that way, and choosing how to respond in a helpful way.
Here’s what makes EQ special: machines don’t have feelings, but you do. No matter how smart computers become, they can’t truly understand emotions or respond to them like humans can.
The Four Parts of Emotional Intelligence
EQ has four main parts:
Understanding your own emotions: Knowing when you’re happy, sad, frustrated, or excited, and understanding what causes these feelings.
Managing your emotions: Being able to stay calm under pressure, handle disappointment, and choose how to respond instead of just reacting.
Understanding others’ emotions: Noticing when someone is upset, excited, confused, or stressed, even when they don’t say it directly.
Managing relationships: Using your understanding of emotions to communicate better, solve conflicts, and help others feel valued.
Why Emotions Matter at Work
Some people think emotions don’t belong at work. They believe work should be “just business” and feelings should be left at home. This old way of thinking is wrong and harmful.
Here’s the truth: emotions are always present at work.
People feel proud when they succeed, frustrated when things go wrong, and worried when things are uncertain. You can’t turn off emotions—you can only choose how to handle them.
People with high EQ are better at many important work skills:
Working with others: They can tell when someone is having a bad day and respond with kindness instead of making things worse.
Solving problems: They stay calm when things go wrong, which helps them think clearly and find solutions.
Leading teams: They can inspire and motivate others because they understand what people need to feel good about their work.
Handling change: They adapt better to new situations because they can manage their own stress and help others through difficult times.
Building trust: People feel safe working with them because they know this person will be understanding and fair.
The Difference Between Reacting and Responding
Here’s one of the most important EQ skills: learning the difference between reacting and responding.
Reacting happens automatically. Someone says something that bothers you, and you immediately feel angry or defensive. You might snap back, send an angry email, or shut down completely.
Responding happens after you pause and think. You notice that you’re feeling upset, you take a moment to understand why, and then you choose how to handle the situation in a way that helps solve the problem.
The pause between feeling something and acting on it is where emotional intelligence lives. Smart machines can process information instantly, but they can’t make this thoughtful pause. Only humans can do this.
How EQ Helps You Succeed
In the NewSmart world, people with high EQ have big advantages:
They’re better teammates: Because they can understand and respond to others’ emotions, people enjoy working with them.
They’re natural leaders: Even if they don’t have a management title, others look to them for guidance because they handle stress well and help others feel better.
They solve conflicts: When people disagree, someone with high EQ can help everyone feel heard and find solutions that work for everyone.
They adapt to change: Because they can manage their own stress and help others through uncertainty, they’re valuable during difficult times.
They build strong networks: People remember how you made them feel. People with high EQ make others feel good, so they build strong professional relationships.
Developing Your EQ
The good news is that you can improve your emotional intelligence. Here are some ways to start:
Pay attention to your feelings: Throughout the day, notice what you’re feeling and what might be causing it.
Practice the pause: When you feel upset or stressed, take a deep breath before responding.
Watch others: Notice the emotional signals people give—their tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions.
Ask questions: When someone seems upset, ask “How are you feeling?” or “What can I do to help?”
Stay curious: Instead of judging emotions (yours or others’), try to understand them.
The Power of Empathy
One of the most important parts of EQ is empathy—the ability to understand how someone else feels. When you show empathy, you’re doing something machines can never do. You’re connecting with another person’s experience and showing that you care.
Empathy doesn’t mean you have to agree with everyone or fix all their problems. It just means you try to understand their point of view and respond with kindness.
Key Idea
Emotions help you lead, connect, and grow. In a world full of smart machines, your ability to understand and work with emotions makes you irreplaceable.
Reflection
How do you handle stress? Do you react quickly when you’re upset, or do you take time to respond calmly?
Think about a recent time when you felt frustrated or angry at work. Did you react immediately, or did you pause and think about the best way to handle the situation?
There’s no shame in admitting you sometimes react too quickly. Most people do. The goal is to get better at noticing your emotions and choosing how to respond.
Today’s Application
Here’s your challenge for today: If you feel upset or stressed, pause. Take a deep breath. Ask yourself: “What’s really going on here?”
This might seem simple, but that pause is a smart move. It’s the moment when you choose to respond instead of react. It’s when you use your emotional intelligence to handle the situation better.
You’re developing a skill that no machine can replace.
Day 7
This concludes our journey with this book. The last day goes over some ideas on how to continue growing your NewSmart skills.
