The Coaching Habit
Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever
If I can help you save just a few minutes by pointing you to the right idea—or the right book—to explore in your personal or professional journey, then the effort is absolutely worth it.
With A.I. tools available today, you can get a summary of almost any book in just a few seconds. Even better, you can ask specific questions about problems you’re facing—and get answers fast. That’s the power of technology.
Still, I know how busy your schedule is. You barely have time to stop and read a full book, let alone figure out what book or ideas within a book is helpful to your current work situation.
That’s why I’m doing this.
These short, practical summaries or quick insights are here to save you time. You can glance at the first few lines and quickly decide: Is this helpful to me right now?
If not, you move on. No pressure.
But if the ideas connect with something you’re going through—keep reading.
Better yet, try applying them to your workplace. Maybe you’re leading a team, supporting a co-worker, or managing your own growth. Either way, these ideas can make a difference.
This isn’t about just reading for fun. It’s about learning smarter. It’s about putting useful ideas to work. With just a few minutes each day, you can build better habits, stronger soft skills, and a sharper mind.
My goal?
To give you quick tools for thinking, leading, and growing. To show you how even one small idea from a good book can improve how you show up at work.
You don’t need more time—you just need the right insight at the right moment.
That’s what I hope to give you.
This book by Michael Stanier shows leaders how to help their teams by asking good questions instead of always giving answers. Most leaders try to solve everyone’s problems for them, but this doesn’t really help people learn.
Instead, he teaches seven simple questions that can make anyone a better leader.
The main idea is easy to understand: instead of being the person who knows everything, be the person who asks the right questions. This helps other people think for themselves and solve their own problems.
It also helps leaders feel less stressed because they don’t have to fix everything.
The seven questions help leaders have better conversations. They help people talk about what’s really bothering them, think of new ideas, and figure out what’s most important.
Each question has a special job in helping people find their own answers.
Giving advice all the time doesn’t work very well. He shows how small changes in how we talk to people can make a big difference.
The book teaches that coaching isn’t something scary or hard - it’s just a better way to talk to people at work.
When leaders use these questions regularly, it becomes a natural habit.
This way of leading helps create workplaces where people feel heard and trusted. People become better at solving problems on their own, which makes everyone happier and more successful.
Amazon 4.5 out of 5 stars (16,147) 4.0 on Goodreads 27,677 ratings
Kindle $6.86 | Hardcover $29.95 | Paperback $6.86 |
Chapter Descriptions
1 - How to Build a Habit: Stanier explains that getting good at coaching happens by practicing small things every day, not by trying to change everything at once. He talks about how habits work - there’s something that reminds you to do it, then you do it, then you get a good feeling from it. The chapter explains why most leadership training doesn’t work and how doing tiny things over and over helps your brain learn new ways of acting until it becomes automatic and natural.
2 - The Kickstart Question: “What’s on your mind?” is a great way to start conversations because it lets the other person choose what to talk about. This question helps move past boring small talk to things that really matter to them. Stanier shows how this question helps leaders stop guessing what’s important and makes people feel safe to share what’s really bothering them. It makes the whole conversation better and more helpful for everyone involved.
3 - The AWE Question: “And what else?” is called the best coaching question because it makes people think deeper and not rush to solve problems too fast. This question helps people go beyond their first answer to think of better ones. It shows you really care about what they’re saying and stops leaders from jumping to conclusions too quickly. Often this question helps find the real problem that was hiding underneath what seemed obvious at first.
4 - The Focus Question: “What’s the real challenge here for you?” helps cut through all the confusing stuff to find the main problem that needs to be solved. This question stops teams from wasting time on the wrong problems and helps people focus on things they can actually do something about. Stanier explains that adding “for you” makes it personal and something they can take action on instead of just complaining about things they can’t control.
5 - The Foundation Question: “What do you want?” sounds easy but many people can’t answer it because they spend more time complaining than thinking about what they actually want to happen. This question helps people stop focusing on problems and start thinking about what they want the outcome to be. Stanier shows how this question stops vague requests and unclear expectations by making people say exactly what they’re hoping for, which makes it easier to help them.
6 - The Lazy Question: “How can I help?” stops leaders from guessing what kind of help someone needs. This question lets the other person tell you exactly what support they want instead of getting advice they don’t need. Stanier explains how this simple question changes who’s in charge of the conversation and makes the other person responsible for asking for what they need. It stops leaders from taking on problems that aren’t theirs to solve.
7 - The Strategic Question: “If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?” helps people understand that when they choose to do one thing, they can’t do other things. This question stops people from taking on too much work and helps them think about what they’re giving up when they make choices. Stanier explains that every time you say yes to something, you have to say no to something else, and this question helps people make smarter decisions about their time.
8 - The Learning Question: “What was most useful for you?” ends conversations by helping people remember the most important things they learned. This question makes people think about what part of the talk helped them the most, which makes it more likely they’ll actually use what they learned. Stanier explains how this question makes the conversation about what the other person learned, not about how good the leader was at helping them.
Coming Up Next
The Kickstart Question: “What’s on your mind?”